The question the Pharisees brought to Jesus seems like it might have been innocent enough. But even if they had pure motives in asking it, Jesus and everyone around him would have known immediately just what a sticky wicket this was that they were throwing at him.
“Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?,” they asked. Mark tells us that they were asking this to test Jesus. They did this kind of thing all the time, and so it’s no surprise. They came to Jesus with some question, not because they were actually desiring the truth, but because they were hoping to catch him off-guard, to get an answer out of him that they could use against him. But this simple-seeming question was one that had been a source of debate for many years already. The Law of Moses in the beginning of Deuteronomy 24 gave restrictions on divorce. But it didn’t spell everything out in the kind of specific detail that the Pharisees liked, and so their own Rabbis had developed their teachings on this. A century before they approached Jesus with this question, two famous rabbis – Shammai and Hillel – opposed each other on it. Shammai said divorce is only acceptable in cases of adultery. Hillel said a husband can divorce his wife over anything he finds offensive. Hillel’s teaching of unrestricted divorce, unsurprisingly, was the far more popular one.
So to the Pharisees this seemed like a perfect trap. “Pick a side, Jesus, and whichever side you pick we’ll call you wrong.” But at the same time, even thought the Pharisees had no interest in learning, Jesus’ hearers likely contained many who did legitimately wonder what the answer is. And in a kind of wonderful irony, the ill-intentioned question of the Pharisees continues to be a great one for people who are genuinely looking to learn from Jesus today.
At the same time, Jesus expertly flipped the question around. He replied with a question. “What did Moses command you?” To their minds it wasn’t spoiling their trap to answer. Everyone knew what Moses said, and Jesus still hadn’t picked a side on how to interpret it. But Jesus was testing them, because they were going to the wrong place. They were going about reading the Scriptures in the wrong way.
Mark tells us that they answered Jesus, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.”
5But Jesus told them, “He wrote this command for you because of your hard hearts. 6But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. 7For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, 8and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one flesh. 9Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
The Pharisees were reading Scripture backwards, and thus exposed their hard hearts. They had caught themselves in their own trap that they set for Jesus. They were searching the Scriptures for how to tear a marriage apart, when they should have been seeking to understand what marriage is and why it should be kept together.
Just as Moses didn’t invent the Law, he also didn’t invent marriage. But long before Moses, and long before God established his old covenant with Israel, God made the world and everything in it. And of all the things he made, only mankind was made in his image. And mankind was made not in a great plurality of beings like the other animals, but two: one man, and from his rib one woman. These two God united in marriage. And by having made the woman from the man’s rib God showed that they were not two strangers, but two who truly were “one flesh.”
Marriage is far more than an arrangement between two individuals. It’s far more than a contract between two families. It’s certainly far more than the celebrating of the passion two people have for each other. It is truly an work of God, the joining of two people, a man and a woman, who leave behind their parents and are united to each other.
The problem that the Pharisees had was that they were approaching God’s law in the way that a dishonest lawyer approaches tax law. They were not seeking God’s will. They were looking for loopholes. They were looking for excuses. They had no issue with taking two words out of the Old Testament, ripping them out of their context, and making them say whatever they wanted them to say.
It’s disgusting, and abhorrent, and we totally get it. Because especially with the Sixth Commandment, “You shall not commit adultery,” we’re always looking for permission and excuses for our own sinful flesh. It’s the one commandment where sin is called love. It’s the one we claim is no big deal because nobody’s getting hurt. “It’s just a joke.” “I can’t help my wandering eyes.” “Nobody needs to know.”
But the shameful reality is that we act selfishly and with no self-control. And all the while we are exchanging purity for impurity and dragging through the mud what God elevated out of the dust of the earth. He made them male and female. He joined them together, as one flesh. “What God has joined together, let no one separate.”
Jesus’ disciples wanted to understand this better. Mark says,
10In the house his disciples asked him about this again. 11He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. 12If she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”
It’s not about the certificates and the paperwork. And it’s not one rule for the husband and a different rule for the wife. To tear apart a marriage is never OK. Adultery is a crime with very real victims. A spouse. Children. Extended families. All suffer as a result of divorce. Some of you know this very well and very personally. All of us need to know this, especially in a society where marriage is so often despised and divorce celebrated. If you are married, guard your marriage well. If you are single, speak of that married estate only with respect.
And remember that Jesus is the one who makes you pure and holy. There’s a reason that the Pharisees liked the permissive view of divorce. There’s a reason that our society has little respect for marriage. Sometimes it’s just too hard. Sometimes a husband doesn’t want to love his wife. “Why should I? I have my own things to worry about.” Sometimes a wife doesn’t want to submit to her husband. “What, and let that fool have authority over me?” Sometimes marriage looks more like a prison than a blessed estate. Sometimes it’s just so easy to fill up on all the pollution the world offers our bodies, our minds, and our souls.
The Garden of Eden, with the perfect marriage of our first parents, is too far away. Adam’s joyful words, “Now this one is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh” echo, but at such a distance. They felt no shame. We can’t go back to that. But Jesus can and does make us new. He took our sins on himself, every last shameful one, and he paid for them on the cross. He lived the pure and holy life we could not. He washes us in Holy Baptism, so that the church is his bride without any spot or stain or wrinkle. He absolves us of our sins, so that when we confess our sins of weakness and sins of choice it is not just the pastor on earth in his ignorance of your heart who says, “I forgive you.” It is Jesus himself who knows your sins, every one, because he paid for every one. He invites you to this Holy Supper, which is the foretaste of the glorious wedding feast.
We’ve badly twisted and abused God’s gift of marriage and distorted what families should be, but in his grace our God continues to bless us through marriage and family. And we see this nowhere more wonderfully than in how he continues to bring children into the world, and how he desires that every child be brought to him.
Mark writes:
13Some people began bringing little children to Jesus so that he would touch them. But the disciples rebuked them. 14When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said, “Let the little children come to me! Do not hinder them, because the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. 15Amen I tell you: Whoever will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” 16And he took the little children in his arms, laid his hands on them, and blessed them.
God has such love for us that he continues to bless us with children. Even in our society that flops back and forth between hating children and treating them as idols. Even for us, who so often fill our marriages with corrupt selfishness instead of honoring God and loving the spouse he gave us. He continues to entrust us with the blessing of children and he asks only that we bring them to Jesus.
There was a time, a few short years on this earth, where you could physically take your baby and put him into Jesus’ hands. And Jesus wanted that. “Do not hinder them. The kingdom of God belongs to such as these.” You can’t do that today. But you can bring them to baptism where they are adopted in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. And you can teach them everything that Jesus has said and done for them. You can show them their Savior and lead them to know his love and forgiveness.
“What God has joined together, let no one separate.” What wonderful gifts to us out of God’s love are the blessings of marriage and children! What great things God does for us in giving us families! Honor God by the way you treat your family. Show your love for him by the way that you love them. And give thanks to your loving Heavenly Father that he is not ashamed to call you his family for the sake of Jesus. Amen.
— Pastor Seth Georgson