You have the right to change your mind.
You have the right to make mistakes—and be responsible for them.
You have the right to be illogical in making decisions.
You have the right to say “I don’t know”
You have the right to say, “I don’t care”
You have the right to say no without feeling guilty.

Those are from a “Bill of Assertive Rights” found in a 1975 book called “When I Say No, I Feel Guilty.” These are your rights, the book argues. Know them. Make use of them. Be assertive, and stop feeling guilty about it.

It isn’t easy to say no. Psychologists have spilled a lot of ink on this topic. There are lots of reasons. We want to avoid conflict, and we often go out of our way to be agreeable. We don’t want to disappoint or hurt anyone. Sometimes it’s for ourselves. We’re insecure or we like feeling needed. “Someone asked for my help? How could I say no? I’m needed!” Maybe it seems impolite to say no. Maybe it makes us feel guilty.

But this is a problem, because, simply put, we can’t always say yes. We’re limited creatures—limited by time, abilities, and resources. Sometimes people ask things of us that we aren’t capable of doing. Sometimes people might demand things that are wrong. Often by agreeing to one thing, we’re causing something else or someone else to suffer.

During his earthly ministry, Jesus was a pretty agreeable person. When people came to him for help, he didn’t very often say no. Jairus came to him, “My daughter is sick and dying.” and right away Jesus went with him. He raised her from the dead. When Jesus was outside of Israel and a Gentile woman came to him asking for him to save her daughter from demon possession, Jesus seemed like he might say no. He came to the lost sheep of Israel, after all. But when she showed her strong faith Jesus was quick to praise her and right away drove out the demon. When the thief on the cross asked Jesus to remember him in his kingdom Jesus did not say, “No, yuck, why would I remember you?” Instead, he promised even more than what the thief asked for, “Today you will be with me in paradise.” Sometimes Jesus was saying yes to so many people that he and his disciples didn’t have time to take a break or eat.

But there were times when Jesus said no. People looked for him, they wanted his help, but he wasn’t there to do what they wanted. This wasn’t about exercising his assertive rights. It was a matter of priorities. He said no for the sake of what was most important. He said no for the sake of the gospel.

And so from Jesus we can learn that we too might sometimes need to say no for the sake of the gospel, for the sake of that one thing needful. And we’re assured that when Jesus does not answer our prayers in the ways we hope, he isn’t saying no because he doesn’t love us. Rather, his goal is always our eternal salvation.

Today’s gospel is from Mark 1, which is right at the beginning of Jesus’ ministry. He called his disciples and began his prophetic work. I like to summarize the work of a prophet as “speaking for God.” Sometimes that means speaking about future events. Sometimes that means reminding God’s people of what God had said and done in the past. A prophet was always someone chosen directly by God to speak a particular message, and sometimes the prophets demonstrated that they were sent from God by performing miracles, like how Moses proved that he was God’s messenger with the Ten Plagues on Egypt.

With Jesus, we might say that it is obvious that he was speaking for God. He is God, and therefore every word he spoke was God’s Word. There’s a more to that though. In the mystery of our Triune God, Jesus said that the words he spoke were not his own, but were from God the Father. So Jesus was a prophet in the fullest sense. He also, like many of the ancient prophets, proved that he was speaking the true word of God by performing miracles.

That was what happened on this day. After preaching in the synagogue in Capernaum by the sea of Galilee and driving a demon out of a possessed man there, Jesus went to the house of Simon Peter and his brother Andrew, whom he had just called to follow him as his disciple. In those days it was pretty common for extended family to share a house. As a family grew and when they could afford to do it, they’d just build on a few more rooms. It wasn’t just those two brothers living in this house. This is the only place in the gospels where we learn that Peter was married. And we learn it indirectly, because we aren’t introduced to Peter’s wife. But instead, at the house was Peter’s mother-in-law, who was in bed and sick with a fever.

We often take our modern medicine for granted, forgetting what a great blessing of God it is that we can swallow a pill to make our fevers and pains go away, and that if it’s serious we can go to doctors and hospitals and go through all sorts of tests to try to identify the cause and a cure. But for much of history a fever could mean anything, and you’d just have to wait. What did Peter’s mother-in-law have? Was it a nasty cold? Was she dying? All they knew was that at this moment she was too sick to get out of bed.

But, of course, this was no challenge for Jesus. Jesus didn’t hesitate. He didn’t say “No, I have other things to do.” He went to her and raised her up, and right away the fever left her. In fact, she was so healthy that she didn’t need to sit for a little bit to regain her energy. Right away she began to serve them all, like any host welcoming guests into her home.

We probably shouldn’t be surprised that word about this got out. So Mark says

That evening, when the sun had set, the people kept bringing to him all who were sick and demon-possessed. ³³The whole town gathered at the door. ³⁴He healed many people who were sick with various diseases and drove out many demons. But he did not allow the demons to speak, because they knew who he was.

Could you think of something for Jesus to heal for you, if he was at a house in your neighborhood? If you have some sort of chronic pain or illness it would be an easy one to ask for. Or maybe you’d ask for something relatively small. “Jesus, I have this old scar that aches sometimes. Can you take care of that for me?” “I have just a bit of arthritis in my wrist, and it sure would be nice if I didn’t.” “How about insomnia? Jesus, can you help me sleep better?”

Jesus isn’t visibly sitting on the couch in your neighbor’s living room with a line of sick people going out the door and down the block, but he can still help you and cure any of those and much more. Jesus here demonstrated to the people and to us who he really is. As true God, he created this world and all that is in it, including our bodies. And even though we, by our sin, have plunged this world into destruction and decay and our bodies too are subject to sin and corruption, Jesus is the Lord who says “Yes. Yes, I will heal you. Yes, I will care for you in your sickness and in your weakness.”

So then, why is it that I still have that scar that aches? Why is it that I still need to take a daily pill? Why is it that sometimes I get sick and lie in bed for days at a time? Jesus can heal me, just as he healed Peter’s mother-in-law and just as he healed all those people who came to him. Jesus lives and rules over all things. He promises to hear my prayers. So why is it that sometimes, oftentimes even, Jesus says “No?”

Mark’s account gives us an answer to that question:

³⁵Jesus got up early in the morning, while it was still dark, and went out. He withdrew to a solitary place and was praying there. ³⁶Simon and his companions searched for him, ³⁷and, when they found him, they said to him, “Everyone is looking for you!”

³⁸He told them, “Let’s go somewhere else, to the neighboring villages, so that I can preach there too. In fact, that is why I have come.” ³⁹Then he went throughout the whole region of Galilee, preaching in their synagogues and driving out demons.

Jesus could have stayed right there in Capernaum. He could have opened a shop in Peter’s house and the whole world would have come to him to have its illnesses healed. But that isn’t why Jesus came. He came to preach the Gospel. He came to be the sacrifice for our sins. He came to defeat the Devil and destroy the power of death and open for us the door to eternal life.

It would have been a lot easier to be the famous healer in Capernaum than the Savior who dies on a cross, but Jesus had to say no to the crowds in order to say yes to the will of the Father, or else the whole world would have stayed condemned in sin. He said no for the sake of the Gospel. He said no out of his love for all people and for their eternal good.

It can be the same way for us too. We offer our prayers, looking for help with all sorts of things in life. And sometimes those prayers seem to go unanswered and it seems like all we hear from our Lord Jesus is “No.” It’s at those times that the Devil tempts us to think that Jesus does not care or that there is no Jesus at all. “Everyone’s looking for you, Jesus. Why aren’t you here?” But Jesus is not your personal genie, here to grant your every wish. He is your loving Lord and God. He is the one who washed you of your sins in Baptism and strengthens you with his own body and blood in his supper. He is the one who calls you by his Word not to look to this life but to find your hope in the life he gives to you.

Rejoice even in the times that Jesus says no. Jesus never forgets, never turns away, never makes exception to his eternal plan for your salvation. By his death and resurrection he has promised that for you, heaven is a sure “yes.”

And so, you too, say no without feeling guilty. But don’t do it just to be assertive. Do it for the sake of love. Say no to selfishness and yes to service. Say no to the world and yes to the Gospel. Say no to doubts and fears and yes to the hope that is yours in Christ. For this is why he came, to preach the good news of his salvation.

Amen.

— Pastor Seth Georgson