A wedding should be a joyful occasion. Really, what else compares? Maybe the birth of a child? There’s a similar joy there at the miracle of life and the welcoming of a new family member, but the event is a far more private one.
There really isn’t anything that quite compares to a wedding. It’s a joyful occasion as both an end and a beginning. It’s the end of a wait, often a long wait, for the couple getting married and for those who are close to them. It’s also the joyful beginning of a new life together as husband and wife, and all the possibilities and joys and challenges together that go with that.
And the day of a wedding is permeated with that joy in everything from the excited preparations, the beauty of the ceremony, and the feasting and fun that follows.
Is there any wonder then that our Lord compares the day he returns in glory to bring salvation to a wedding?
Weddings in Israel were handled a bit differently from what we’re used to. Similar to what we usually do, there was an engagement and then later the wedding itself. But for them, parents were usually heavily involved in choosing a spouse for their child. And the engagement wasn’t just a promise with a ring, but it was a binding legal contract. Sometimes there might be terms that needed to be filled. The groom might need to build and prepare a house. But when that was all done the time would come for the wedding and that would take place at the house of the bride and her parents. The ceremony and celebration would be waiting eagerly to begin at the arrival of the bridegroom.
Jesus used the picture of a wedding a number of times in his parables. The parable he told in Matthew 25 wasn’t really about the wedding itself but about ten virgins, or bridesmaids, who were supposed to be watching in order to welcome the bridegroom at his arrival. No one knew when he was going to arrive. There wasn’t a set time for the wedding to start. It was just, “whenever he got there.” But how important it was that they be ready for him! Imagine being at a wedding ceremony where the music swells and the doors are opened for the bride but instead of everyone standing and focusing their attention, the photographer is chatting with the maid of honor, the groomsmen are cracking jokes, and attendees in the congregation are distracted, maybe some even sleeping in their seats. That sounds like it might be a nightmare of a bride-to-be. And the thing is, once the moment has been spoiled, you can’t do it over again. That’s why there’s a rehearsal, so everyone can go through the motions and know where to be and what to do. They don’t want anything to spoil the joy of the wedding.
But in Jesus’ parable that’s exactly what happens. There were ten virgins. Five were foolish, five were wise. The wise ones came prepared. They knew that there might be a wait involved, and so they brought some extra supplies, just in case. They were ready to add oil to their lamps to keep them burning no matter how long it took for the bridegroom to arrive. The foolish ones had their lamps, but nothing extra.
Time went by and they all grew drowsy and fell asleep. Some church fathers took that to be a picture of death, and that makes some sense. Certainly many people have fallen asleep in death while waiting for Jesus. But it’s probably better to understand Jesus’ point here as a general lesson that the wait will sometimes seem long, and when the day does come it will come suddenly, like a thief in the night. This picture is a much happier one than a sneaking thief. Instead, the virgins all woke up when they heard the shout, “Look, the bridegroom! Come out to meet him!” This was a joyful cry. The one they had waited for was finally here. But as they woke up and got ready to welcome him, they saw that their lamps were dying.
The five wise ones grabbed their spare oil to refill their lamps, but the five foolish ones had nothing. Share your oil with us!, they begged the wise ones. “No, there’s not enough for us and for you” they replied. This wasn’t about a lack of generosity, they simply didn’t have enough to share. And if we’re going to apply Jesus’ parable to the preparedness of faith, it can’t be shared. If I have been foolish and find myself on Judgment Day with my lamp of faith sputtering out, I can’t turn to you and say, “Share your faith with me!” No one else’s faith can help me. Not my dear grandmother. Not my faithful church-going friend. And there’s no one else I can blame. The fault is mine, and mine alone.
So the five foolish bridesmaids ran off to see if they could find someone to sell them more oil for their lamps, but this was truly a fool’s errand. By the time they got back it was too late. The bridegroom had arrived. The wise virgins had welcomed him with joy. They had all gone into the house and the doors were locked.
The foolish virgins came and knocked on the door. “‘Lord, Lord, let us in.,’” they said. “But he answered, ‘Amen I tell you: I do not know you.’”
Sometimes with Jesus’ parables he tells a neat little story and then gives an explanation of what it means. With this one he doesn’t need to do that. Instead, the story morphs, so that by the end we aren’t really even talking about a wedding anymore. Instead, we can all see clearly that this is Jesus on the Last Day. And so Jesus concludes by saying, “Therefore, keep watch, because you do not know the day or the hour.”
A wedding should be a joyful occasion. It should be the most joyful occasion. But I don’t know that I can think of anything more horrible than this scene right here, to have Jesus look me in the face and say, “Amen I tell you: I do not know you.” Can you think of anything worse? And yet, who am I that Jesus should know me? Why should he care about one insignificant person in an insignificant time and place? Why would he allow me in to his great wedding feast when I have so often been foolish, when I have so often been unprepared, when I have slept while my lamp sputters and I have given no thought to tending my dwindling faith?
I don’t have any reason I can give. Do you? And with a thought like that the wedding day of Jesus’ arrival doesn’t seem like such a joyful occasion anymore. If I’m looking at myself that day is nothing but a terrifying one of uncertainty. When I’m rehearsing with a couple for a wedding I always tell them not to worry because even if something goes wrong at the end of the day they’ll still be married, they’ll still have that joy. But if my sins exclude me from the wedding feast of the Son of God then that encouragement doesn’t hold. For me there is no joy that waits.
Except this bridegroom is someone entirely different from anyone else who has ever lived. He doesn’t come as a lawgiver or a moral teacher, but as the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world. He comes to cleanse his bride, the church of every spot and stain and wrinkle, by sacrificing his own life and shedding his own blood. He prepares for us a home with him in heaven. And he is coming again to bring salvation to those who wait for him.
Jesus warns us so that we don’t lose the joy of heaven that he has won for us. Sin so easily grabs hold of us. We forget God’s will and the day seems far away. But the Holy Spirit has called us to faith. He keeps our lamps burning. He feeds them by Word and Sacrament. He fills us with eagerness as we await our Lord’s coming.
Jesus knows us not because of our righteous works, or because of our fervent prayers, or because of our unflickering faith. He knows us because he took our sins on himself to make us his own. He knows us because in his love for us he engraved us in the palms of his hands. The righteous life he lived and the holy death he died he lived and he died for us. The heaven he prepares he prepares for us.
The saints triumphant are not saints and are not triumphant by themselves. Our father Adam ate the fruit and plunged the whole world into sin. Noah proclaimed that the earth would be covered in a flood and then covered himself in shame. David was a man after God’s own heart, except when he was after the wife of another man. Peter said he would die for Jesus and then denied him three times. And these and countless other men and women are heroes of faith, saints triumphant, because Jesus made them holy. Jesus gave them his triumph. He invited them to the wedding feast where they entered by his blood, robed in his righteousness, with a crown of life upon their head, and joy in the fullest measure.
Keep watch! This same invitation your Lord extends to you. He himself has made you prepared. You are washed in Baptism, you are steadied by his word, and you have a foretaste of the banquet in his supper. His promises to you are sure.
“Come to the wedding feast! Share in my joy!”
— Pastor Seth Georgson